So Boss. Part 1.

Boss. That appears to be the term du jour for the ten year old set these days. Or, at least the ten year old boys I’ve hung out with recently. As in, “that Lego set is boss.” Or, “this game on the Kindle is so boss.”

And if a thing was particularly awesome/special/worthy of note?

Beast.

Those two words were thrown around quite liberally during Mikey’s birthday sleepover. Instead of making a big deal out of this milestone birthday, all he wanted was a small family celebration with ice cream cake on his actual birthday, and then a sleepover with three of his good buddies from church. Done and done, we said.

The boy turned ten this year. And I don’t have the words to explain how that could have happened. How I can look at him and still see that cute little two-year-old boy lining up all his toy cars in neat rows. Or that four year old building a “five-gunner ship” in preschool. Or that seven year old helping me wash the dishes. Or that nine year old that he was just yesterday. How a whole decade could have passed in what feels like mere moments.

They weren’t kidding when they said the days are long but the years are short. Oh how I’m feeling that truth right now. Feeling the weight of guilt over all the shoulda woulda couldas that I just didn’t get around to with him. How we should have gone through this or that book by now, or have these many verses memorized by now, or figured out a way to get him in Boy Scouts by now. So many good intentions, so many ways I’ve fallen short.

But I look at the boy he is today and I can’t help but see God’s faithfulness written on every page of his life. We have made so many mistakes with our firstborn, impatiently telling him to be patient, reminding him to be kind in an unkind tone, telling him grades didn’t matter to us when he could clearly tell they ~~did~~ do. Oh the many times I should have been looking into his eyes as he talked to me rather than looking down at my phone. But in spite of all this, God has been with Mikey, growing him every day into exactly the person that He wants him to be. A kindhearted, thoughtful, inquisitive, funny, insightful young man who loves big, forgives instantly and completely, and keeps on keeping on. I am so proud of this kid and so thankful to God that He allowed us the privilege to be his parents even though He knew how much and often we’d blow it. I’m thankful for the (many) opportunities I have had to admit my shortcomings and failings to Mikey, to ask for his forgiveness, and to point him to the One who never fails, never gives up, never wavers in His love for him.

If I’ve learned anything from the last decade of being a parent, it’s to quit trying to control every little thing and trust that the Lord knows exactly what His plan is for each of our children. It’s so much more enjoyable watching our kids grow into the people God created them to be if I just step back and get out of His way. Ultimately, I am thankful that God’s grace covers me as it covers our children.

Anyway, back to the birthday celebration and sleepover shenanigans.